Hi
What's matter, kid?
I'm not a kid
Help!
Miss!
- Help! - Come back!
Pretty girl!
Help!
Come back!
Help!
Come back!
Help!
Come back!
Taking liberties with my daughter in broad daylight?
Come on, sisters!
Help!
Stop, you sex maniac!
Are you alright, Miss?
I'm fine
He's a rapist! Fix him!
Go to hell!
It's not me...
No?
Mom!
Madam, you're mistaken...
You got it all wrong! It wasn't him!
Fang Jian-sheng, the Blockhead
She's gorgeous!
Miss!
What is it?
I like your airplane
I like the runway more
Shall we go to the movies?
- It's just the movies - Don't be afraid!
Don't be afraid!
Let's have tea
We'll be your friend
Class will begin, sit down!
Don't harass your classmate
He's cocky!
We'll show him
You two, please come forward
Yes, I'm talking to you
Come forward!
You have learnt the different moods
Of course, we're actors
Need you ask?
Good! Cry for us
Cry?
I can't do it without a story
Fine! I'll give you one
I'm your Father, pull on your ears
Get on your knees and cry to me
Dad, I'm sorry! Please forgive me!?
Sir
You're an idiot
Don't bother to show up again
Sir!
Disgusting!
Dad, I'm sorry! Please forgive me!
Very good! Now your turn...
Miss, please step up here
She's your Mother. Repeat what he did
Pay attention, everyone! Do it!
My Mother?
Mom, I'm sorry, I won't do it again!
Very good!
This is hilarious!
Stay there for the rest of the class!
Fellow students
An intimate scene can be tricky
Let me show you...
Hey!
What are you doing?
Return to your seat!
Good morning, Sir!
What's going on?
My name is Fang Jian-Iang
I'm also a student
I was just sharing my experience with you
Mr. Fang!
Mr. Fang Jian-hui is the host of
A Dish A Day
Three, two, one, cue...
We have a letter from Mrs. Chang
After seven years, her husband is having an affair
A wife should take some of the blame
If the wife is a good cook
She'll have the husband on the hook
In order to keep your husband
Make him good soup
Cut it out!
What we're recommending today
is Swallow Returns in Spring
three quails, two taels of bird's nest
One tael of angelica root
I guarantee the return
of your philandering husband
That's all for today
See you again next week
in Mainly for Women
I can smell it upstairs!
Let me try!
It's not cooked
- It's not edible? - It's only a prop
I'm counting you in for tonight
Sorry, I have a date with an air hostess
who looks like Nicole Kidman
She's been after me, I must give her a chance
Bye!
Julia Roberts
He's bragging again!
He's over 30 and doesn't have a girlfriend
Let him brag!
$1,000 please, brother dear!
Again?
You used my wife's name! That's my compensation
I have to pay to mention her name?
You're lucky
Next time, it'll cost you more
We're brothers, don't make a fuss
Fine! Let me use your car to show off
That's all you care about
You can't hold down a job
Those jobs are not respectable
That's why I'm an artiste now
How was the first class?
Fine!
What does that mean?
Fine means good
Maybe not so good!
Come back!
Come back here!
Hi there!
Stand still!
How dare you trick us!
What are you doing?
Professor!
Damn!
It stinks!
It's you, Sir!
Both of you are
in deep shit now
See me in my office!
I forgot my glasses
Help me find the way!
I don't know that way either
Left or right?
I don't know!
Read the sign!
I can't see anything!
Take a closer look
I see it now! It's a danger sign!
What happened?
Call the police!
The food is burning!
Hello?
Is Miss Honey there?
There's no honey here
But we have many darlings
Come see for yourself
This is a whore house!
Sorry, wrong number!
Better wrong than never. Come on up!
Hello?
Put the Kid on the phone
Which one? We have lots of them
Then put Baby on the phone
We have lots of them too
What place is it?
A nursery
Why didn't you tell me earlier, bitch?
You've wasted my time, maniac!
You're the maniac!
Hello?
Jesus, please
Come for mass if you believe in Him
Save the bullshit!
Jesus and I are going after the girls tonight
Lord, please forgive his sin
Sin indeed...
Where the hell is this?
Church
After Jesus and I had a good time
I'll drop by to confess!
Good night!
Dinner, Master Lang!
I'm steaming my face!
If it's Amy, tell her I'm out of town
If it's Nancy, tell her I went out
I only want to talk to Kitty
What if it's for me?
Then hurry up and hang up
I'm waiting for Kitty's call
I said we're through!
Listen to me, we're through!
Is it Kitty?
Maniac!
Hang up, maniac!
I'll kill myself
Go ahead!
You shouldn't say that, sir
Who are you?
You have a guy with you?
I don't know him
I don't know her either! I have the wrong number
Then hang up!
I'm waiting for Kitty
Hang up, asshole
You call me an asshole?
I don't mean you...
Don't be so heartless
and dump your girl
If you're interested, she's all yours
Chin Fa Garden, Zone 40 No.4.
I'll kill myself if you leave me
Don't do it, Miss!
Hong Kong is such a wonderful place
What's so good about Hong Kong? Tell me
Hey! What's good about Hong Kong?
Eat a banana!
Hang up and eat your dinner!
Wrong number, pig!
I know! Sunset by the sea is so romantic!
Hong Kong has everything
And... remember that song
"Life's a bed of roses, enjoy the freedom..."
"Now let's whisper"
LP. gas
LP. gas is good
Good idea!
Hello, Miss?
Damn!
Where are you off to?
To save a life!
What's your name, granny?
What is he saying?
- Where do you live? - Of course I know that
Where do you live?
- Beef stew is my specialty - Granny!
I smell LP. gas
No... can't press the bell
Anyone home?
No answer?
She must have passed out!
I'll have to break in
Better clip my nose first
"petals on a moon-night..."
The bathroom...
Open the window
Mom!
Take it easy, Miss
It's you again!
I'm here to save a life!
What?
Didn't you try to kill yourself?
That's such a lame excuse!
Don't!
I'll show you what the 1957 Champion
of the National Martial Arts can do
Don't...
Go to helll...
I heard on the phone someone tried to kill herself
Go to hell...
Over there...
You're after my neighbor too?
No... Look!
I'll kill you! I'll chop you to pieces!
Mom! It's true...
Really?
Go and help!
"The sun, the stars..."
What happened to you?
You helped a damsel in distress
and she pledged to marry you?
Don't talk nonsense! I'll dress your wounds
Is she pretty?
A bit
Do you love her?
A bit
Does she love you?
A bit
Pretend you're playing snooker
Put her in your pocket!
Don't pollute his mind
With your playboy tactics
Speaking of pollution, I have a beef with you
As my guardian
You shouldn't have dressed me up as a girl
when I was a kid
Now I'm campy
Luckily, I protected you
Or you'll be worse
You have so much to learn about women
Nonsense! Proceed steadily
Step by step, with meticulous calculations...
You talk like a housewife!
You must be bold but prudent
Wrong!
The mentality of the 605 won't work
You're doomed
You must be bold, callous and shameless
Shameless?
Be a womanizer
Be a philanthropist
- Philanthropist? - Love with all your heart and act quick!
Move in on her tomorrow
Don't rush into anything!
No? Eat your vegetables
It's already cold
The lesson to learn is eat it while it's hot
Once it's cold, it's inedible!
That's all for today
I'll go for the good stuff tonight!
You already have a girlfriend
Don't go fooling around
Before I settle for home cooking
Let me eat out while I can
He's a bad example
Some day, pickles is all he's getting
I better eat now!
Sissy...
Let her think I'm a sissy
who's harmless
So many women fall for me
"My love, I'm on fire?"
"Heating up like a desert?"
"My love...?"
"The greatest hero...?"
The chosen one from 19 districts... lucky you!
Lin Lee from Mongkok
The Dolly Parton of Mongkok
Let's hold fast to the dream
Let's see who's luckier...
Tokyu Queen, you have three dates...
Tokyu Queen?
They're boorish, I don't like them
What type do you like?
Tall and handsome
Pearly white teeth
Casual but tasteful dressing style
Friendly but romantically unruly
That's me to a tee!
Big, passionate eyes
with electrifying expression
Deep and sexy voice
Well groomed hair
Are all Virgos that demanding
when it comes to men?
Virgo?
Seriously...
Those pajamas I saw at your shop
Are they available now?
Yes!
Lingerie department?
I'll look you up after work!
Sure!
I'm on to you!
Thank you
Here, I peeled it for you
It's for me
You take such good care of us
There's no brother like you
Something small like an orange
You'll even peel it for us
Something big like your car...
Don't even think about it!
Why?
You didn't use the cologne I gave you?
When did you give it to me?
Last week when I borrowed your car
That reminds me, when you brought it back
All the tires are shot
I have my reason to be impulsive
Your impulse cost me $3,000!
Damn!
The cologne wasn't cheap either
Give me the keys
Fine!
Don't try to fool me
What a brother you are!
I was wrong about you
Follow me to the garage! I'll prove it
I need some answers myself!
Fine! I'll look for it myself!
Are you convinced now?
I have looked everywhere
There's no cologne
Give me back the keys
You can't fool me!
That can't be...
I put the box here myself
Where is it?
The kid at the garage must have taken it
- I'm sure... - Say no more
- No more tricks - Must be that kid!
You'll never get me cologne
You don't fool me!
Toilet key! Damn!
What are you doing?
Shopping
I want something for my girlfriend
Look around, we have many choices
Stop! I want something sexy
What size?
Your size
What color?
Red!
$999 net
Fine!
$1 change
Thank you
Don't mention it
Can I go now?
You scared me!
What are you staring at?
Nothing
Whose is this?
He left it behind
Why would someone buy something and leave it behind?
He left a letter!
Before I met you
I don't believe in love at first sight
Please accept this gift
As a memento of our first encounter
If you wish to thank me
Meet me at the coffee shop across the street
at 11 tonight
P.S. If you're not interested
Please pass the gift and the note
to another Tokyu Queen
If one should exist
I've never seen a cockier man than him
Please sit down
You knew I'd come?
Yes
I have ordered a lemonade for you
Someone with your figure
will never drink Ovaltine or milk
Fine
A ring on your pinkie means you have many admirers
Transparent nail polish means you're spontaneous
One earring is a sign of madness
But I like it
For you, Virgo
If you don't care for it, toss it!
I will!
Stop!
In such a short time after work
You managed to put on something so pretty
It means you have a big date tonight
If I'm not mistaken
You're leaving in 5 minutes
because you didn't bring your handbag
Wrong!
How so?
A ring on my pinkie because it's the only size available
I'm not wearing any nail polish
One earring means I lost the other one
But you were right about one thing
I'm leaving soon
because my boyfriend is waiting outside
Take this back
If you think I'm mad, you're not mad enough for me
The bill, please!
Sure!
Follow me!
You're dead, Beautiful!
What took you so long?
I was teasing him! It was fun!
Forget him!
Nice car!
It's the worst one I own
If this is the worst
You must be rich
Yes, I am
Having money is nothing, spending it is the key
"I'm on fire..."
Show him...
You lousy watch!
I'm tossing it!
Take it off!
But it's a diamond Rolex!
Mr. Rich
Take it off...
No!
Take it off or I'm going...
You're so stingy, I'm leaving...
No... I'll take it off!
Hurry up!
Yes!
Look at that!
I thought my bumper was hard
but not as hard as this!
Run him down!
Start the car!
No!
Go!
It's my Father's go!
You won't do it?
- Then I will - Don't!
What are you doing?
You're insane!
I'll show you insane!
Sorry, my mistake!
Beautiful!
Come on... He can't ram his Father's car
But I can ram my brother's car!
Listen to me...
Go home!
Please don't go, I'm sorry
- Hit the gas! Get in gear! - Say goodbye to Daddy!
Bye!
Hey, watch it!
Daddy!
Incredible! You're my hero!
His Father will be pissed
You smashed my car, bitch!
I'll sue you!
You call me a bitch! Go to hell!
Calm down...
Help!
Daddy!
You want to kill me?
Mr. Rich
I'm calling my lawyer!
You're dead!
I'll call all my lawyers!
Don't go!
I'll sue your pants off!
Bamboo Court! It's our destiny
Virgos don't accept
anything that comes easy
I'm not giving you a chance tonight
Go home and get some sleep!
You're despicable!
What's your name?
Beautiful!
My name is Handsome
Liar!
You too!
Don't...
Good night!
Don't...
You'll learn sooner or later
You won't get away!
Why isn't he back?
Don't worry! He's not a kid anymore!
I'm worried about my car, not him!
He won't wreck your car!
I have a hunch he'll cost me
We'll know
if he brings home any food
Last time he bought rice dumpling
and it cost me over $3,000
You think it's stewed goose
or chicken congee with abalone?
I only want fishballs
Why fishballs?
Nothing to worry, he didn't bring anything
What about fishballs?
Let's eat!
What's this?
Roast pigeons from Shatin
My car is history...
I better check on my car
The pigeon doesn't mean I wrecked your car
Go see for yourself!
That's odd! It was fine just now
You...
Come back!
Don't eat that! Each pigeon costs me $3,000
Then I must try it!
I'm keeping your next month's pay!
You hear me?
No!
I saved this pigeon leg for you
Give me Bing's number
Tell him to tow the car
It's after 2 am.
So what? I'm waking him up, not you
300687
Ming...
Don't come back if you leave now
I'll raise the son alone, musician
Daddy, don't go!
Let him go!
- Daddy... - Don't mind him, Ming!
Let him go!
Mammy!
Put Bing on the phone!
Bing my foot! Wrong number!
You don't have to be so rude!
It Should be 5-300687
What are you going to do?
That bitch at 300687 is cocky
I'll scold her
How dare you talk to me!
Hey, bitch! It's connected!
That's so stupid!
You're stupid, asshole
I'll call the police if you call again!
That bitch is ferocious!
- Did she pick on you? - Yes!
I'll wake her up every night and get even
What about my car?
It'll be fixed. Good night!
Mud mask
Does it work?
Not even tea!
Hello!
Lang, it's Hung
Where are you? Hurry home!
I'm in England. I'll be back in two days
I have lost weight since you left
I miss you terribly
What are you doing now?
Eating sausages and doing a mask
Don't be naughty
Pick me up at the airport at 9 o'clock
Bye!
Back so soon!
What about the ladies from the 19 districts?
I'll take it out on that bitch!
Morning, bitch!
It's 3 am.
Time for you to pee
Who are you?
None of your business!
My brother wants to talk to you
Who is he?
You want to talk to him? Hold on!
Hello?
I woke that bitch for you
and told her to pee
Finish her off
What did you say? What bitch?
It's you again, asshole!
Harassing me on the phone!
Go to hell!
What? Damn!
What? Don't swear!
You're a pervert!
Don't call me a pervert! I hate that!
Hello!
Lang, if you call her up every night
and tell her to pee
you won't have to pay for the car
Really?
That's for calling me a pervert
Let Lang harass you
I always find a scapegoat
My mud mask...
1, 2...
Take a break and eat your breakfast!
Where are you going?
I've taken the day off to play ping pong
Who is Blockhead dressing up for?
Who is it?
A girl
I know that!
What's her name?
Ying-ying
Eat it while it's hot!
I have to run
Bye!
Don't over do it
No breakfast?
Blockhead is in love!
Look at his ruddy face
The male hormones are erupting on his face...
Unlike you...
What do you mean?
You haven't had a pimple since puberty
Your face is dry like a prune
I'm worried about you
Why?
Either you'll be a bachelor or you're gay
A prune?
Good morning, Ying
Good morning, you're here!
I'm honored to play with you
Loosen up!
Come meet my friend
What's your name?
Can't tell you, you'll eat it
Is your name Vegetable?
Rice?
Or shit?
Don't get smart! Call him Roy
How are you, Roy?
So far so good
What are you doing?
Nothing! You're strong!
Sheng was on the school team
Really? Which one?
St. Peter's Memorial Secondary School
in Quarry Bay
Are you done?
Yes!
Good! Let me destroy you
Excellent!
I call that "Kiss of the Ping Pong?"
"Kiss of the Ping Pong?"
The Ping Pong strikes again
Don't lose your temper!
See my Terms of Punishment
Calm down, buddy!
You're too much,
Serves him right
Sheng!
- Ying-ying! - Sheng!
No live broadcast today, Mr. Fang?
I'm doing an interview on location
Any 8-star cookies?
Sorry, she bought the last box
Please take it, Mr. Fang
No, it's ok
Mr. Fang, your car...
Maybe next time! Sorry, sir
Sorry, I'm leaving
Don't do it again!
Mr. Fang likes the cookies
Really?
Yes, thank you
Sorry to keep you waiting, Mr. Fang will be here soon
Good morning, director
Good morning, everyone
Mr. Fang, you're late! A romantic encounter?
Of course!
An intriguing cookie romance
at the cake shop
What does she look like?
She's a beauty of course
Elegant and intelligent
and has good taste!
How do you know?
Don't make fun of him!
The match-maker is a box of cookies
She offered me the last box
I can tell from her eyes
Reserved but seductive
Coquettish but sad
What a pity I have to work
so I returned the cookies
I told her if cookies brought us together
We'll meet again because of cookies
If it's destiny
We'll meet again
I saw utter disappointment in her eyes
So I think to myself
If I see her again, I'll...
Chew her like cookies?
I will give her a chance, I will...
Of all the stories you told us
This is most touching!
Where's the cake shop?
I want to try my luck too!
It's only a story... get back to work!
Sure!
Mainly for Women, take one
Hello, Miss Wu
Hello, Mr. Fang
Here with us today
is a newcomer of Cantonese Opera
Why are you so interested
in Cantonese Opera?
Sorry, try again
Let's start from here
Since I was a kid...
She can't stand it
Sorry,
I can't help laughing
Director
Shoot her part first
and shoot mine later
Okay, cut...
Shen-shen, take his place
Good take! We're done!
Pack up
Mr. Fang!
Do you have time to see me tonight?
Sure...
Pack up...
I have 2 tickets, please bring your wife
I'm not married
Then bring your girlfriend
I don't have one
I'll bring a special guest to keep you company
I'll be there!
What are you looking at?
Nothing!
Kids are not allowed to watch?
No, they can watch anything
Is she beautiful?
Yes
I'll tell her later
You know her?
Yes, for a few years
Does she have a boyfriend?
No
Only a husband and a son
But Daddy left us
You're her son?
I'm supposed to be the special guest
“m Fang Man-hm'
I know
She said the sissy is Mr. Fang
Play by ear...
Let's go
Say something nice to your Mother
Like what?
Tell her she was good
But she fell down!
Say something nice and humor her
How? Show me
Compliment her on her acting and singing
Don't mention her little accident
or the catcalls
I'll remember that! Follow me!
Mom!
Miss Wu
Did you thank Mr. Fang for brining you?
I brought him here, he doesn't know the way
Don't get smart!
Did he give you any trouble?
Not at all!
Mom, I want to say something
Like what?
Don't worry, I know what to say
You fell brilliantly
Nobody noticed it
Nobody booed you
Miss Wu...
It's your fault
You made Mom cry
Thanks for the ride
Not at all. It's on the way
Exacfly!
Don't be rude!
Clever boy, I like him
Liar!
Ming!
I'm getting off now
You twisted your ankle
Shall I take you to the doctor?
I can't
After that, can we go to the movies?
Will you do me the honor?
I will. What about you, Mom?
Ming!
I need the time off anyway
Hung!
Tired?
Let's go
Do Do!
Asst. Pilot
That bastard again?
Wait for me outside, I'll get rid of him
Don't be long!
I'll wait for you
Bastard!
I'll buy you dinner
I guarantee
strictly business
I have a boyfriend
I know, but he's not your type
You'll be moved by my sincerity
You know I love you
Maybe next time!
What about tonight?
Give me a chance. O.K?
Trust me!
You know I love you!
Give me a chance OK?
Why won't you give me a chance?
Just this once!
Trust me, it's strictly business
I love you!
Do Do!
Do Do...
I love you, give me a chance
"I'm falling in love...?"
Brother!
Hung, you're back!
Who's falling in love?
Can't you see my pimple?
When I was in Kyushu
I bought you this knife
It's a good knife!
Thanks
Darling, have some water
Thanks
I bought these comics for Sheng
Where is he?
He was just here
He's heartbroken
Such a sad song!
In the garden
Ying-ying is history!
Thanks to your advice
Of course, everything is my fault!
Hello!
Blockhead! It's Ying-ying!
Don't look down on him
He still has a chance
Hello!
Good!
Well?
She invited me to play ping pong
That's good
She has a boyfriend
Big deal!
He's tall
So?
He's a good player
So what?
We'll back you up!
Don't worry!
Ying-Ying!
Morning!
Let me introduce Ying-ying
My brother and his fianc? e
You invited them to watch you lose?
Stand aside!
You're wrong, Big Guy
We're here to back him up
as he arm-wrestles you
Piece of cake!
Darling, what do you think?
Take him on! Put him in his place!
Then beat him in ping pong
Sure...
If I lose both rounds
I'll give up Ying-ying
You!
Proceed as planned...
- I'll be the referee - Sure!
On my count to three...
Ready!
How exciting!
One
One and half
Two
Two and a half
Three
Oh, God!
You lost! I
It's not fair!
Why not? You lost!
Stop squabbling, let's play ball...
What's wrong with you?
Can't face your own defeat?
Ping Pong won't kill you!
My brother is younger
let him serve first!
You're dead!
Look! You're nose is bleeding
Did I do a good job?
You collaborated against him
My brother is madly in love with you
What do you say?
Don't hesitate! He's a nice guy!
What are you doing? What did you say?
Come on, don't be shy!
Here, hold her hand!
Eat it while it's hot!
Come on!
Go ahead!
Go and have a good time!
Get going!
Bye!
Told you not to see it! Stop crying!
Such a stupid director
What a tear jerker!
You cried too!
Want to grab a bite?
I want to eat...
8-Star Cookies
We'll go there right now
The shop closes at 10. There's still time
Good!
Mr Fang
You really like these cookies!
They are my favourite for the past three years
You're dedicated
Girls are lucky to have you
I'll see if Ming is asleep
Let there be thunder and lightning
She'll ask me to stay
Such a rainstorm
I didn't bring an umbrella
How can I go home?
I'll get you one
Don't let her find it!
Here!
Thank you
Don't mention it
Take care, it's slippery outside
Goodbye!
Lightning too!
It's dangerous to drive to Yuen Long
in this weather
You're right
You better stay the night
Sure...
Sorry to trouble you
Sorry you have to sleep on the sofa
Sofa?
I hope she can't sleep
If she'll come out for a chat
I'd rather lose two years of my life
You're still up, Mr. Fang?
I can't sleep. How about a drink?
There goes two years of my life!
Cheers, Mr. Fang!
Cheers!
One more!
What's matter?
Bitch!
Good!
You can scare him off for me
Time to pee!
300687
Don't call back ever again!
You sounded like my brother!
I am your brother
If you call again
I'll kill you
Good! What did you say about his brother?
I told him I'm a mafia boss
You do sound like
his pervert brother
Really?
Of course not
You're so nice and well educated
How could you be that pervert?
If I find out who they are
They're dead!
They're such a nuisance
They're shameless
I sprained my ankle
in the middle of the night
to answer the pervert's phone call
And I was booed offstage
Sorry, I forgot your pajamas
Hang up first
You probably can't wear my husband's pajamas
You can wear mine
These are his slippers. Please try them on
Thank you
He has big feet!
Is he a giant?
Yes
He calls himself a music giant
He's over 30 and is still a dreamer
Too highbrow to go popular
He's been unemployed for over a year
He was offered a music director job
But when they changed one note
He quit
Where is he now?
Learning zitar in India
India?
Maybe it suits him better
Only Indians understand his music
I like Chinese music, he likes Western music
We're not compatible
If ever I look for a husband again
I'll find someone who likes Cantonese opera
I like Cantonese Opera!
I think you and Lang should get married
Wait till he makes something of himself
But he never sticks to any job
He'll settle down if he has a family
I thought about that...
I'll transfer to ground
by then...
I'll have more time for him
I never know what's on his mind
If I had a nice girlfriend
like you
I'll get married right away
Dinner!
Come and get me!
I'd give anything if you're more like your brother
Come on, dinner time
If you like him so much
Why don't you marry him?
I will if you won't change
You have my blessing
I don't want him to feel lonely
when we're so blissfully happy
You think so little of me!
“5 Mr. Fang Man-hm home?
Miss Wu?
Please come in
This is my brother Jian-Iang
His girlfriend Do Do
My youngest brother Jian-sheng and his girlfriend Ying-ying
This is Miss Wu Fen-fang
A friend of mine
You mean your girlfriend?
Ming, say hello!
Hi!
Good! Buy one get one free?
Hello!
It's full moon tonight
I have good news
Jian-Iang and Hung are getting married
Don't...
You object?
I never said that
Good! What about you, Hung?
Miss Cheng
Congratulations!
Let's have a toast!
Thank you!
Cheers!
A call!
Hello!
Handsome, it's Beautiful
Hold on...
Yes, producer?
You want me to play the lead?
A classic story? Good...
Hold on...
Want me in a period drama?
I'm not sure if I can do it
Enjoy your meal
I'm back! Keep talking!
It's exciting to make love on a full moon
You should try it
You're game?
Are you scared?
Says who?
Pick me up after work!
Let me think!
Are you hesitating?
I'll be right there!
You can fool around any other time
But not tonight
You just forced me to marry Hung
I made no objection
The Tokyu Queen is mine!
This is my last fling before I get married
It's for your own good
Your fianc? e is right outside
How can you leave?
I'll manage if you play along
Even if all my girls are here
I can still break away
Mr. Fang is such a good cook
The rice is cold, I'll get you another bowl
So what if it's cold?
Are you protesting the call?
Are you?
Answer me!
It's business!
I'm not like that pilot of yours
They needed me for a role in a period drama
You have no idea how worried I am
It's alright! Let's eat
OK
What is this? Did you do this?
You gave me the best pieces
What about the others?
They're our guests!
It's impolite leaving the bones behind
Miss Wu did it
Then it's even worse
You're my fianc? e
You should do it
Don't pout!
Finish eating
Don't pout, hear me?
On my count to three, if you don't stop
I'm walking out this door
One, two, three...
Sorry, Hung, I'm in a bad mood
Can you imagine me in a period drama?
Sorry!
Sorry, it's my fault
No, they're always like that
We're used to it
Yes... we quarrel all the time
Even fight!
We even end up in the hospital
But we're never seriously hurt
Let's play a game
Good idea! What game?
Something we haven't played in a while
It was Lang's favorite!
What is it?
He used to call up some bitch
and tell her to take a piss
Why?
Because she was bitchy
and called my brother a pervert
What's the number?
Tell me the number? 300...
300687
How do you know?
Because I'm the bitch!
So you're the dirty, cheap,
miserable pervert
Ming, let's go!
Fen-fang, listen to me...
Please don't go!
We're going to the movies
What movie?
Just go!
You don't want to stay
Hi!
I saw your bespectacled boyfriend
So?
He pointed his finger at my nose
and blamed me for taking his girl
What did you do?
I showed him
I chopped off his finger to make you a gift
It's still moving!
How gross!
I'll get you!
I'll give you the chance
Where are we going?
Home!
Home?
Daddy is playing mahjong all night
Mom is in bed by now
Making love on a full moon is exciting
How so?
It hurts!
A hickie!
I can't stand it
Where's your mother's room?
Over there. Quiet!
Auntie!
Shut up!
Auntie, time to get up and pee
Hey! This way!
How do I look?
- Beautiful! - Of course!
My brother used to put me in girls' clothing
I look good in women's clothes
This side too
I need to pee
Ready...
Don't touch unless you're a pervert
Let's see
Serves you right!
You tricked me!
You're home, honey!
Why are you so late?
Where are my glasses?
I can't see a thing! Help me!
It's broken! I'll get a new pair tomorrow
Come in, I want to talk to you
Come on!
Go into my room!
What are you doing?
Not now!
Come in!
Coming...
Darling, you must settle down
Behave yourself
You're precious like a first-run theatre
If you keep fooling around
You be downgraded to second-run
Say something!
Why are you covering your face?
Mom...
Don't cry!
It's for your own good!
Where...
- have I seen you before? - Who is that?
Don't cry...
- My Dad! - Daddy!
I don't have a son like you
Daddy!
You adulterer...
Darling, what are you doing?
I caught you in bed, adulterer!
What's wrong with you?
You grabbed my chest!
What's the matter with you?
You're drunk!
Lang is in a bad mood
Please forgive him
I think he's fooling around
He won't settle down
He's faced with temptations
He can shop around
but he'll never find
someone better than you
He'll realize that soon
Damn! She's already on the platter...
I have to work on the script
Have a chat!
Darling, you should be angry at me
Give me one minute to explain!
Please sit down!
I was a jerk and I was wrong
You should be mad at me
When the TV station called
I thought I was the lead
But now I realized
I only have two lines
and didn't need to go back for the script
Do you know how I feel?
I bet you don't
Just like this! Such a damper!
I was so depressed
I took a stroll in Kowloon Park alone
When I see all those lovebirds
walking past me in pairs
Who came to mind? You!
I felt so inferior!
I don't have the guts to come home to you
Are you done?
Yes!
There was a busted sewer
The park is closed! Nice try!
Who said Kowloon Park?
I meant Little Kowloon Park
What's that?
It's a hickie!
Hickie?
What hickie?
It's a hickie!
Everything is a lie
You went out to see a girl
Darling
Don't pout!
On my count to three, let me go! One, two, three...
Did you get it?
Get what?
The mark!
What mark?
The hereditary mark!
We get it on full moon
Now I remember!
Look!
Hereditary?
Would my brother lie?
Really?
It's not a hickie!
"The sun, moon..."
"Can't sleep...?
You should have one too
What?
Let me see your neck
No, don't look at it!
I'm vindicated!
It's my first time. Leave me alone!
How could you!
We'll find something
to get rid of the mark
Say it!
Last night I proposed to Do Do
Really?
We'll get married at the end of the year
Good!
Don't be shy!
I have good news too
You too?
Ying and I will be engaged at the end of this month
That's excellent!
80 soon?
I can't come to your party
Why?
I'll be on my last trip
We'll celebrate again when I get back
Coming!
Ying ying, you're a good cook
That's why Sheng is hitched
Bye!
Oh shit!
Darling, I have to go back to the TV station
I'll give you a ride
Bye!
Even though I only have two lines
It's still a contribution, right?
Yes!
Hey!
Where is your Mom, Ming?
Mom, it's Uncle Fang
Tell him I went out
Mom said she went out
Hang up!
Mom wants me to hang up
Hello!
A Dish A Day with Mr. Fang
Mom, the creep is on TV
Change channel, I don't want to see him
There's a letter from a Mr. Fang
His girlfriend Miss Wu is angry at him
Mom, he's talking about you
So we're making an "Apology Soup?"
We hope Miss Wu will accept Mr. Fang's apology
Seven red chillis
Five green peppers
Two Thai chillis
Two taels of pepper
Spicy herbs
Two old gingers
And extra spicy curry powder
Mix them together
Who is this for?
Definitely not for Miss Wu
It's for Mr. Fang
I'm sorry!
Stupid!
"Music was heard through the night?"
Wu's residence
Ming, where's your Mom?
It's Uncle Fang again!
"Please listen to all my complaints?"
She's still not home
I'll come by right now
I'm downstairs!
Don't! I'm not home either
Open up!
I just got home!
- My Mom... - I know she said she's not home
Please give her this invitation
to Sheng and Ying-ying's engagement party
She's welcome to bring you along
I'll be there
But I don't know about her
Did you see me on TV?
Yes, but I switched it off
Mom said it was stupid
Very well, bye!
Bye!
Thank you!
Congratulations!
Thank you!
Thanks...
Have a drink!
Make yourself at home. Have a seat...
Help yourself...
Congratulations!
Thanks...
Have a drink!
Congratulations!
Thank you!
Congratulations!
Thank you
I think she's not coming!
Don't be disheartened
Miss Wu is my future mother-in-law's student
I'm sure she'll be here
Auntie!
When will you teach me Cantonese Opera?
At the "Mainly for Women? Anniversary special
You sang rather well
That was nothing
I'll teach you Cantonese opera
if you'll teach me how to cook
It's a deal!
Sure!
It's almost time!
The ceremony will start in ten minutes
I'll get ready
Ying-ying...
Where's Lang?
Where the hell is he?
Why did you invite me?
That's enough...
Doing it in public is more fun
You're naughty...
I'm busy!
What's up?
Come here!
He always shows up
at the most inopportune time
Hold that thought!
Hold it...
You asshole!
You should be entertaining the guests
But you're screwing around with a whore
What?
I've spent four months to woo
this Tokyu Queen
Come here!
That hurts!
You promised to marry Hung
But you're cheating on her now
Is she here?
She has her last flight, this is my last fling
I want a good time before I get hitched
She's my prey
Can't you let me have some fun?
Do whatever you like!
Thank you!
Let's carry on
We're reunited...
Asshole!
Congratulations!
Thanks! I thought you can't make it
The thunderstorm in Taipei
turned the plane around
So here I am!
Thanks
Where's Lang?
Sorry! I thought it was Lang
Yes, we look alike from afar
Honey”.
What are you doing?
Congratulations!
Thanks, my dear!
Mom... it's Uncle Fang
You're here early, Miss Wu
Have a drink!
Lang!
It's not me!
What are you doing?
Stay away!
What's the meaning of this?
Hugging and kissing me
Pushing me around
Watch what you're saying
They'll get the wrong idea! Let me explain
Miss Wu
She's not my brother's girlfriend
She's a guest at the party
Right...
Sorry!
I'm here for the party
Of course!
Not to hear about your romances
Right!
- Miss Wu - Sheng, Ying-ying, congratulations!
- Excuse me! - Miss Wu!
Leaving already?
Miss Wu...
That girl has nothing to do with my brother
She's mine! Let me explain
- Miss Wu, please stay! - Come here, Handsome!
Hey...
If she's your girlfriend, what about me?
Who are you?
Go ahead and introduce yourselves!
You asshole!
Don't call me again!
Darling, she hit me!
She must love me more!
You think...
Hung”.
I'm seeing stars...
Where's my brother? Too many stars...
This is not a game
Sorry, I've got you involved
Let's go, Mom!
Come on, Mom!
Your Mom is out again?
Fine! Just tell her
Uncle Fang didn't call again
Bye!
The "buy 1 get 1 free? offer is over?
Maybe I should give up
Forget it! If you want a woman
Go into my room
Choose any one from my 19 districts
Hung is a good girl
Don't be so fickle!
Did you call her to apologize?
See these flowers?
Good! Explain to her in person
Explain? No way!
She has seen me with other girls before
So what?
She always gets over it
Competition keeps her in line
You made a mess last night
Do you know what she's thinking?
I do
I can read her mind
She won't get away!
She'll do as I say
I'm on to her
I may look like a sissy
But I'm not stupid
Forgot to wear a coat!
Darling, I'm cold
Stop pouting! I'm going out
Darling, they say three roses
mean 'I love you'
What about five roses?
It means 'I love you very much'!
I'm sending you a dozen
You know what it means?
I have no idea
It means I hate your guts
What about a gift?
I'm so touched!
Thank you!
Go to hell!
Hi!
You're free today?
Get in!
Thank you
What would you like?
I have never been here before
What's good here?
The steak is good
What about foie gras? It's delicious!
Sure!
Anything else?
I want seafood
- Yours? - Yes
That's enough, let's go home!
Who do you think I am?
Don't forget
We have announced our marriage
I'm your husband
and you're my wife!
Not anymore! Not after that woman!
Right!
Sorry, please sit down
He's guilty, I'm innocent
Every time I let you go
I was in pain
Every man fools around
Whoever doesn't is in danger
Just like measles
Once you had it, you're immune for life
I fooled around and now we can get married
I'll love you forever!
What you have is herpes not measles!
What herpes?
It's none of your business!
Shut up, asshole!
Please keep it down, sir!
I don't know this man
He's disturbing us
I must ask you to leave, sir!
Fine!
You don't know me?
- Don't mind him - Sir...
Draught beer, please
We only serve members, sir
Are you a member?
I'm not!
Whatever...
What a bore!
I know that!
But I really love you
Do Do, I love you!
You're gross
I know that too, but I'm cute
Please accept this as a token of my love
It's beautiful and so big!
A big diamond ring indeed!
Which finger should I wear it on?
This one?
Suit yourself!
I love it
Don't go away...
He can't swim!
Then he's showing off!
That's none of your business!
Let me test the water...
"I fly... up up to the sky?"
Lang!
You look excited!
Yes, I bought champagne
Darling, they cast me
in a 60-part serial drama
What is it called?
The Condor Hero
You play the lead?
No, I play the condor
- What? - Condor?
The condor is the co-star
and it's cute
If I do well
I'll co-star with Andy Lau in the sequel
When we shot the stills
the crew called me the seafood condor
What does it mean?
Darling, what does that mean?
I don't know
Let's open the champagne
"Up up... to the sky?"
Deal?
Me?
I got a deal for my comic
Blockhead? will be in published!
Excellent!
Congratulations!
What's there to celebrate?
Everyone, the garden!
He's playing a sad song
Go to talk to him!
Brother
Give him so comfort
If Miss Wu ignores you
Find someone else!
Don't be so upset!
Don't be stupid!
Lang has a leading role
and my comic will be published
We bought champagne
Let's celebrate!
Good for you, but I'm not in the mood
We'll celebrate tomorrow
I'll start cooking
Hey...
Brother...
What a drag!
Darling, let's celebrate!
No!
Why not?
You're too much!
Your brother slaved himself
to support the two of you
Now you've made a name for yourself
and make fun of him
You're stupid
We...
Forget what we said
Darling? What can we do now?
If he's in love with Miss Wu
We must help them
We'll explain to Miss Wu
My Mom is doing a charity show with her
Let's talk to her back stage
Bring your brother along
Let's go
What about the champagne?
What?
The champagne
Wait till they have reconciled
OK
The stage manager said
we have a full house tonight
Really?
Ying-ying and Sheng are coming
Mom!
Auntie
- Why are you so late? - Miss Zheng
Miss Wu
About last time...
Sorry, I have a show to do
I need to concentrate
We'll talk later
We'll wait!
Ying-ying told me everything
I didn't know you and Fen-fang
had such an intriguing encounter
I'll help you after the show
Thank you
What's the show tonight?
Right!
There are three segments
I'm in 'The Reunion' of Hairpin Romance
Mom!
What is it?
Sit down, Auntie!
You're on next!
- What's wrong with her? - She has asthma
Asthma?!
What now?
Let Fang...
What?
He can do it!
Let my brother take her place
You're Mr. Fang?
Please help us out!
I've seen you on TV...
You'll be fine
I can't...
Don't worry
The audience will like it
Please help us!
If it's Ok with you...
You want a chance to explain anyway
Do it on stage
Go on!
What shall I say?
Tell her how you feel
Come on, we're all set!
Please drink this
Consider this my apology
"Tears over a moonlit night"
"Our dreams are shattered"
"Listen to me, we meet again tonight"
"I'm sorry about the phone"
"Please don't be angry"
"Please hear me out"
'My heart aches upon seeing yu"
"No more excuses"
"Don't bother to explain'
"I don't want to listen to you"
"You've ruined the "Hairpin Romance?"
"I'm sorry I have hurt you"
"I was wrong to disturb you at night"
"I blame the ear-splitting rings'
"for my sprained ankle"
"I ended up with catcalls from the audience"
"Please forgive me"
"What about your brother's engagement party?"
'It was a misunderstanding"
"I saw you with my own eyes"
"You held a girl in your arms"
"Men are all lechers"
"You succumbed to her charm"
"You frolicked with her"
"Don't try to fool me"
Huan Sha...
Help me inside
I'm Huan
I'm Sha
We brought Master Huang along
"It was truly a misunderstand"
"His brother was foooling around"
"He took his place"
"and tried to cover for him"
"Calm down, he knows there's no excuse"
"You should respect him"
"for protecting his brother:
"That's why you saw him with the girl"
"I saw him kissing her"
"Please don't be jealous"
"He didn't mean for you to see him"
"Please don't blame him"
"and torture him"
"He's wasting away because of you"
"like a drug addict"
"Please forgive him"
"We'll be eternally grateful"
"Please accept his explanation"
"Let him speak his mind"
"Everything will be fine"
"Smile for us!"
She's smiling! Everything's fine!
What about the show?
What now?
We'll take this happy ending
and wish everyone great happiness
We are reunited
Like I. Shi-Iang and Xiao Yu
We're reconciled
Let's have a round of applause
I've been so worried...
Congratulations!
Please don't get me involved next time
Good show!
Well done!
I feel better!
Good...
Congratulations!
How do you feel?
I have two free tickets to Hawaii
You're welcome to take them
Consider it your reunion gift
I'll look after Ming
You can rest assured
Nothing to worry about
Time for champagne!
Stop!
The show is not over!
Undo the roller credits!
Time flies while you're having a good time
In just a year
Sheng and Ying-ying have toured the world
After their skiing trip, next stop Ethiopia!
The nut case Beautiful hit the big times
Some stupid film company
cast her as the lead
She's now an actress
But my poor brother...
The music giant returned from India
He promised to settle down
and became a record producer
My brother didn't want to break up their family
So he backed off
He's still single
The only consolation is
He ran into his first love
They still have the same taste
They both like 8-star cookies
I had the biggest achievement
Hung gave birth to quadruplets
I was so busy changing diapers
I have forgotten about the girls from 19 districts
Hung said she wants 19 kids
I'm so lucky!